Judge this bit of writing on a scale from 1-10?

Um, as a reader, this would deserve a 6. I think this is great so far but how the words flow out arent fluent. Sentence fluency, you need to be able to choose what language will be appropriate at what times. Try reading it allowed instead of thinking of how it would usually really sound because readers aren't who you think they are, they are not judging of accuracy, but enjoying the brightness of creativity and beautiful word choice which gives them a exaggerated image.